WatchND highlights:

Up early against

[OPPONENT] after a fast start, Notre Dame couldn’t keep it up and played a poor second half against the [OPPONENT NICKNAME], resulting in a disheartening loss that sent their record to [INSERT RECORD HERE]…

Oh, never mind. That was my draft that I have lined up from pretty much every reaction post this season. I forgot to update it with the current information.

Nevertheless, it’s accurate today as Notre Dame assured itself of a losing season with another loss to another meh team, albeit probably the best one it has played thus far. This time it was Virginia Tech on the winning end.

The Irish started quick, as they have in many games this season, taking a 24-7 lead. They got a big play out of Josh Adams in the second half that briefly stemmed the tide of momentum the Hokies inevitably set off. They got some nice catches at points. They even got some good defense early in the game.

And then they stopped playing well. The season seems to have largely consisted of Brian Kelly coming up with good game plans to start things off, then when the other team adjusts, shrugging and saying, “Well, that’s all I’ve got. Let’s keep doing it and see what happens.”

Twice DeShone Kizer got hit on plays that would (and have) been called targeting against Notre Dame. I thought it was stupid that neither play was reviewed, especially when the second such play saw Kizer get up woozy and possibly concussed. But I guess we have to hold on to the distinction of being the only team to ever have a targeting call go against us only after the review.

This team is just bad. When Adams dropped a pass on the final drive that would’ve been an easy first down, it pretty much encapsulated the season. Bad teams find ways to lose. Bad teams make dumb mistakes. Bad teams commit false starts by the half-dozen. Bad teams lose to teams that lose to Kansas. Bad teams lose to teams that go 3-9 (hi, Furman and Rutgers. Honored to share this space with you). Bad teams lose despite having a guy who is supposedly a first-round draft pick at quarterback – even if I find myself asking what the hell those draftniks are watching every week.

Notre Dame is going to go 4-8 against the worst schedule in school history. I feel like this is probably the 3rd or 4th time I have said this, but it bears repeating. This is an absolute train wreck. And I really don’t care that every loss has been close. Every loss was close in 2009 too, and no one was using it as an excuse to call ND good that season.

If you’re looking for silver linings: ND rushed for 5.6 yards per carry, and especially in the first half did well to control the line of scrimmage outside of those false starts. Kizer was good in the first half (should I just assume ‘in the first half’ at the end of all these sentences?). Most of the key pieces of this team will be back next year, so hopefully they will improve. There are probably more, but I’m too bummed out to think of them at the moment.

Someone call up the Irish and tell them to be better next year – I bet that would drive more traffic to 18 Stripes than these funereal pieces I have been writing every week.

See you folks next time.